I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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