so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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