people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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