would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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