I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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