she was so not down for the gang bang
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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