i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
