Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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