just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
