It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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