you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
