I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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