I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
