They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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