what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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