It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
