i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
