I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My life is pants optional.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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