There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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