Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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