we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
