A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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