i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
