Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
