Plan B is the new Plan A
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
