ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
organizing the empties. That sober.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
