foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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