if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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