I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
