if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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