If that was your dad, he is hot
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
