fuck your aforementioned shoe
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
