Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
