Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him http://tfl.nu/x0sm
  Replies (31) Good night (1575) Bad night (6399)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster http://tfl.nu/c1fy
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (1744)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro. http://tfl.nu/6pjm
  Replies (10) Good night (3244) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days http://tfl.nu/nte6
  Replies (9) Good night (2665) Bad night (965)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me. http://tfl.nu/u7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (1530) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone? http://tfl.nu/dwpt
  Replies (1) Good night (920) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital! http://tfl.nu/x7o2
  Replies (13) Good night (1258) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards. http://tfl.nu/sqj0
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob. http://tfl.nu/q4zv
  Replies (14) Good night (1476) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them http://tfl.nu/w8ay
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction http://tfl.nu/q1mm
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person http://tfl.nu/r4rm
  Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too... http://tfl.nu/soax
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit http://tfl.nu/5i17
  Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (202)

Randomize