where am i from again
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!