so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
P.S. I can't hear my feet
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
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Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is