wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
