I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
