I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
