I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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