my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
