We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
