dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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