I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
