i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
