i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i now understand why vodka
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
