Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize