Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
