I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
