Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
