A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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