What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
