I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm at about main and main street
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
