You don't have asthma, your pregnant
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
