Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
