You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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