we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
