We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
