There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
