We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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