There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
