The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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