Well apparently he's into motor boating.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
