I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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