i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
