Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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